No. You don’t quit. You get back on that stupid erg and do it again. Do it better. Pull harder. Use that anger and that hatred and push it right back with your legs. Rowing is fucking hard. Rowing messes up with your mind, it fucks you right up till the end. But if you quit, you leave a family behind. You leave your teammates, you leave your coaches, you leave people who believe in you, who have faith in you. Don’t give failure that pleasure. You’ll get there eventually, inch by inch. It takes time, it takes patience, it takes strength, but you’ve done the hardest: getting into the sport.
You’re doing more than 99% of the people on this planet, you wake up in the morning, freeze your ass to death, make your hands blister so badly you can’t shampoo anymore, stuff yourself with thrice the recommended food portions, you feel pain that most people can’t even begin to imagine. You put up with all that crap because the ecstatic feeling you get when an outing goes well, when you win a race, or maybe even just when you have a good paddle on a sunny day is the best feeling in the world and you know it. That’s why you’re not quitting.
Keep rowing, it’s worth it, and you know it. <3
Well today sucked
not only because I pulled a fucking 2:20 when my goal was 2:16
or made the most embarrassing faces and noises and even cried
Or because I forgot my bag in my carpools car
or that I almost crashed
Because I realize its not people that I hate,
yes, I hate…
Rowing has confirmed that I fail at everything I do.
Never been good, never will be the best at anything.
I’m done living. I can’t. Once a quitter always a quitter, eh? I quit.
Only problem is, I’m too damn scared to quit.